I wish I had Barney Rubble arms

So I am sorry to bring up toilet issues but I have too.  Thats the whole point of this blog. 

Why do us women have such short arms??? I am finding it near impossible to negotiate around my bump to make sure the lady garden is clean after going to the loo.  I try and try and for some dumb reason I have convinced myself that leaning forward will make my arms longer which clearly it doesnt.  I then get blocked by the ever ginormous bump on my front.

My next tactic then is to do the old reach around from the side. there are 2 downsides to this.  It only emphasises the love handles which I would rather not think about and it makes me puff and pant like I have just run a marathon.  Lord knows what Darling Husband thinks when he hears me puffing and panting in the bathroom.  Thankfully for him we have not closed the bathroom doors in 10 years so he can see plain as day what I am doing.  Again this prompts the question of how the heck does my husband find me attractive after seeing this insane X Factor failing contortion act?

Possible solution………I recommend the old dental floss trick.  Come on ladies, i know you have done it…..you have all been a little bit “socially relaxed” on the dance floor and removed your scarf and done the old in between the legs dental floss dance move.  It works surprisingly well with loo roll.

Now there is a mental image to take into the weekend!!!!

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • Twitter
  • RSS

Leave a Reply

CommentLuv badge