Checking the mine for cave-in’s

Well today was my “inspection” day or “M.O.T” day for you Brits.  I went in to my Obstetricians office with Thing 2 and after showing hr off to anybody and everybody I waited for my name to be called.  I was excited about seeing my midwife again and not be screaming in pain.  I had a gift for her and I was looking forward to that.

The appointment involved getting a Pap smear done and going over any concerns and of course talking about contraception for the future.  Contraception LOL!!!!! this cracks me up for several reasons.  Firstly, my husband has seen my minty ripped and turned inside out……Instant contraceptive right there.  Secondly, my husband saw me poop on Thing 1 when she was born.  Thirdly we are so blooming tired at the end of the night i don’t have the energy to play with myself, let alone anyone else hahahaahaha!!!!

Before I had kids I used to hate the pap smear and it was very painful.  Well, after having 2 kids, i think they have to get the tools to do it from Home Depot, I didn’t feel a thing!!!  Oh dear………my poor husband!!!!!!!!  This can lead to some nerves when it comes to having sex again.  Will he feel it? Will I feel it? Will it hurt? The main thing to focus on is to not focus on it at all.  Your spouse loves you unconditionally!!! you have brought children into the world.  Yes I know he saw your bits tear and the afterbirth and saw you behaving more rudely than the girl in the exorcist but our supposes still love us………frikkin weirdos!!!!!  I was very nervous the first time after Thing 1……..It was very good though.  I had nothing to worry about.

This time round though I seriously think I need to do some pelvic floor exercises or something.  I have to make some effort to make sure it all snaps back.  I wish I could have asked them to throw in an extra couple of stitches when they sewed me up now.

As for contraception, the girls kinda come with their own in built method of knackering the 2 of us out so much that we just pass out at night, so at the moment sleep is our method.  I have several options but I can’t be arced with taking the pill anymore.  Im crap at remembering it and i already take enough pills every day anyway.  Another method is a NuvaRing but i don’t want to do that as I can’t be doing with shoving it in and out.  That just gross me out.  There has been far too much interfering with my minty the last couple of years……(many would say that sounds exciting) but I am done with that.  So I could have a shot, or an implant in my arm or an IUD.  There are pros and cons for all of them and I have leaflets that I need to read up on and then decide.  I think I am swaying towards the implant in the arm.  It sounds so bionic doesn’t it……i could be like a transformer “ovulates prime”!!!!!!!

I also need to consider the cost implications and what my insurance will cover.  After all if i have to sell both my kidneys to afford one method, it may not be the best option.

So the appointment was nearly over and I decided to give the gift to my midwife.  I had got her a charm in the shape of a little girls silouhette.  It is silver.  It has Thing 1s name on one side and Thing 2s name on the other side.  She loved it.  Heck its the least I could do to say thank you for all the love and care she has given me.  It then suddenly dawned on me that I am not going to go through this journey with her again.  I suddenly felt very sad.  It is absolutely the right decision for us but when you suddenly realize that the shop is shut it suddenly makes you realize what an amazing privilege and what an amazing journey it has been.

All of you who are currently reading this while pregnant, please give your belly a rub, go look at yourself in the mirror and relish every beautiful and bloated square inch of yourself.  You are beautiful and you are going through an amazing experience.  Don’t miss a single second.

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2 Responses to “Checking the mine for cave-in’s”

  1. The Stork says:

    This made my eyes a bit misty! You will have many other special journies in parenthood. I believe every woman knows when her family is complete. I applaud you for approaching this subject thoughtfully and with practicality.

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