mummy……….WTF are those???

I don’t really ever feel self conscious, but i actually had a moment of weakness where i felt self conscious.  Those that know me would be shocked by that.

I was getting Thing 1 out of the bath and I was wearing my dressing gown.  The dressing gown fell open and my bobs fell out. When I say fell out I mean flopped on the floor like a wet shammy leather.  Thing 1 just stopped and stared at them.  I tried to get her attention away from them but then thought actually I don’t want her to worry about what they are so I told her.  

She knows where her boobies are.  I regularly say “where are your boobies?” and she will point at them with a big smile on her face.  She also knows where her “bits” are lol!  So I said to her, “these are mummy’s boobies”.  She just kind of stared.  When she then looked for something to play with (thank god not my boobies) I closed my dressing gown.  I wouldn’t normally care but since having the 2nd kid my onions are most definitely pointing downwards. I felt really exposed.

The other day at work I had it too.  I wasn’t walking around with my boobs out for once !!!! but it was with the outfit I wore.  I had a stretchy short sleeve knee length dress that looks fabulous with my curves.  I wore it after Thing 1 was born as it was so forgiving.

Well it seems that Thing 2 somehow rearranged all my hips and belly.  I felt OK going to work but then half way through the day my tights had created a second belly.  I now was like a cow I had 2 stomachs.  My knickers gave me major muffin top and then under my boobs there seemed to be a 2nd set of boobs.  WTF??????

I looked like a PICASSO!!!!!!!! Or like some screwed up extra from Total Recall.  When did this happen?  Did i overeat?  I have to eat 500 more calories a day to breastfeed.  I have tried to be careful and just over eat fruit.  I have slipped though and had chocolate.  Not a huge amount, don’t worry there is no intervention needed.  But 1 or 2 portions pod chocolate a week.  for some reason I am just so hungry.  This evening I had the worst dinner.  I had 4 slices of pizza, 4 cinnamon slices and 2 garlic sticks.  What the heck????? I am sitting here literally feeling gross!!!!!

I am so anxious to get back on weight watchers because I am so good and disciplined on it.  I will not do that though until I finish breast feeding.  Its awful I feel that I am almost wishing my life away but I REEEEEEALLY want to go back on Weight Watchers.  I wish someone would endorse me and pay me millions of bucks to lose weight.

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