Angry Bird!!! Most un-user friendly bog in the WORLD!

So I have to tell you all about the most stupid, ridiculous, poorly designed, poorly maintained toilet in the world.

I swear this has nothing to do with the fact that I just had the WORST period EVER!! (yeah right!)  Whoever designed our loos at work needs shooting.  I work for a Fortune 100 company.  My office is in a high end managed office building.  Beautiful Lobby, nice finishes everywhere, It seems to me that they used all the budget on the marble and then paid someone 5 bucks to design the toilets.

Let me tell you how this personal vendetta all got started.

So I have the worst cramps, I am bloated, I am irritable and tired.  I am working instead of being tucked up nice and warm with a hotwater bottle.  As a compromise I brought the hotwater bottle to work.  I ended up sitting on it as it seemed to be the only thing that subdued the feeling of straddling a circular saw.  It gets to that time of day where I have to go do some personal housekeeping.

Strike 1:  I have to walk MILES to the toilet as they are by the elevator in the middle of the building.  What knob jockey did that???

Strike 2:  Its flipping freezing in these loo’s! Is it possessed?  Is it some dormant doorway to hell? That can be the only reason!

Strike 3: While wanting privacy while I unwrap the noisiest most crinkly packaging in the world, I am interrupted by another office worker……BUGGER OFF!!!! Oh come on, I see you smiling,  we have all been there waiting for someone to flush the toilet already so that we can undo the packaging without the whole county hearing it.  Or the stealth mode where you slide you finger in the packet and try to ever so slowly tear it.

Strike 4: The most poorly designed disposal bin in the world.  This process should be a dignified, clean, as little hand to bin contact as possible, sanitary process. So which IGNORAMUS designed this system.  Ok, here is an explanation.  2 cubicles share 1 bin.  The bin contains 2 large brown paper bags (the type you get porn and liquor in).  One bag per cube.  You push the flap and try to open the top of the bag.  You try to open it and it doesnt open wide enough.  You have to life up the bag ever so slightly to get a wide enough opening.  Wide enough to dispose of your waste but also wide enough to wave hello to the previous visitors waste also.  NICE!!!!! Thats just what you want to see.  See the picture below to see the full glory of how crap this design is!

Strike 5:  I then go to wash my hands that now probably have half the counties DNA on them.  I go to one sink and the soap dispenser is missing.  I go to use the next sink and the soap dispenser pisses soap everywhere all over the counter but not out of the spout.  This is a conspiracy!!!

THE LAST STRAW!!!!!!!:  I go to the next row of sinks and this is what I find!!!!!

WHO DO I HAVE TO HUMP TO GET SOME SOAP!!!!!

I feel much better now.  Thank you so much for listening.

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